Mom vs. Crockpot. Round 1.

Confession Time.

I'm afraid of crockpots.

There. I've said it. Laugh if you must.

There's just something.... untrustworthy about putting some stuff in a pot, plugging it in and walking away. And I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of leaving something plugged in, especially if I'm not home. Which I usually am. But still. It goes against my nature.

Also? That Sandra Lee on Food Network with all her generic Cream of X soups? Makes. Me. Twitch.

But there's been a buzz.

Talk of oh-so-easy pulled pork and buffalo chicken. And brisket. Heck, I don't even *like* brisket. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to cook it in such a way that people drool for more.

I'm crazy like that.

So I did some serious research. I posted on Facebook and a message board and asked if I should get a crockpot. And the resounding answer was yes.

Hey. You can't argue with quantitative results.

I went to Target.

I came home with this. The big selling points? It was under $25. And it was red.



See how it gives me the side eye?



I also had a brisket. 1.75lbs of it. So I looked for recipes and came across one called Beef Brisket in Beer.

I trust beer. Beer has never steered me wrong. Not like that Captain Morgan. But I digress.

First, I chopped up some onions.



Then I trimmed the fat from the brisket (Here's where it gets confusing. The recipe said to both trim the fat, but also to put the meat in the crockpot fat side up. So I trimmed a little fat, so that there was something for the "up" part).



A little fat side up.



I covered the meat with the onions.



Sprinkled with bay leaves.



And I had some mushrooms, so I threw those in too. At this point, we have departed from the actual "Beef Brisket in Beer" recipe, and gone off on a tangent. I was informed by an expert (a friend via AIM) that "You cannot mess this up." I view that more as a challenge than an endorsement.



In a separate bowl, I mixed about 3/4 cup of beer,



1/8 cup of ketchup,



Some chili powder and 1 clove of garlic, minced,



1 tbsp of brown sugar,



And black pepper, kosher salt and thyme.



I whisked it all up and poured it over the meat, onions and mushrooms.



I set the crockpot on low. The plan I devised upon consultation with aforementioned expert was that I would leave it on low from 10:30am until I got home at 3:30pm, and then I could kick it up to high until dinner time. Approximately 7:30pm. Eastern Standard Time.



Crockpotting away...



Still going.

At this point, probably about 4pm (EST), MacGyver poked his nose into my kitchen.

MacGyver: "It smells good. Are you going to mix it?"
Me: No.
MacGyver: ::concerned face::



At about 7, MacGyver re-entered my kitchen.

MacGyver: So it's almost done?
Me: Yes.
MacGyver: And you still haven't mixed it or looked in there?
Me: You're not supposed to.
MacGyver: Are you sure?
Me: That's the whole point of the crockpot. Set it and forget it. Ha ha.
MacGyver: But don't you think you should...?
Me: Yeah, no. Do you want to take over dinnertime in the house?
MacGyver: Never mind.

Right before serving.



Beef Brisket in Beer. A la Me.



I served it with yellow rice and green beans and almonds.



Now for the verdict.

MacGyver. Loved. It. He had two enormous helpings. He thought it had great flavor and texture. We have leftovers for him to have a sandwich or whatever. He's excited.

Me. Eh. Well. I *get* it. I understand that roasting meat til it's at the point where it shreds easily or falls apart in the oven is a big, fat pain in the arse, so this is ideal. The flavor was exactly like I envision pretty much all crockpotted meat to be, so I wasn't wowed. But I have high hopes for pulled pork and chicken.

And hot buttered rum.

Me: 1
Crockpot: 1.

Til we meet again.

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Muffin Tin Mealtimes: 2/8/10

I sucked it up and bought a real muffin tin. It was only thirty cents more than the two pack of disposable ones, so I figured it would be "an investment."

Top from left to right: avocado, green olives, ritz crackers
Bottom from left to right: extra sharp cheddar, white albacore, cucumber



Turtle would like you all to know how much he loves "Cheeeeeeeeeese!"

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Recipe: Empanadas (my way and a FAIL)

Warning: The following is not going to be pretty. It happens. The point to keep in mind is that everything tasted super yummy, so please don't be distracted by the failure of an empanada crust.

Carry on.

Start with one pound of lean ground beef. Saute it up. Get it nice and crispy. Mario Batali insists that ground meet is supposed to be well done, and I believe him.



Chop up some red onions and green olives. Mine have pimentos.



Start mixing up your crust. I used my standard oil pastry recipe.

Two cups of flour.



1 1/2 tsp salt. Give a gentle stir.



1/2 cup vegetable oil...



combined with 5 tbsp ice water.



Add the liquids to the flour and salt and mix together until you get a nice ball of dough. Cover with a damp paper towel until you're ready to roll it out.



In the meantime, your meat should be all nice and cooked, so toss in your onions and olives.



I added a packet of taco seasoning and 2/3 cup of water as directed, and then let the mixture simmer.



Hello, again.



When the meat has finished cooking, you can add some shredded cheese to the mixture. I don't know that it's the technical thing to do. I do know that I like cheese.



So here's the bad news. Something funky happened to my pie dough. Maybe my kitchen was too warm. Maybe I mismeasured something. I don't know. Normally, it's beautiful and smooth and rolls out just fine. This was ... well, anything but.

I cried for a minute.

It was frustrating.

Somehow, I managed to get a few misshapen rounds out of the dough. It would do. I placed them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.



Place a heaping scoop of the meat mixture on each "round."



Then cover with a similar round and crimp the edges. Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.



I had one leftover premade pie crust in the fridge, so I decided to make use of it, in light of the great fail.

Just so you could get the idea of what it might look like for realsies.



While these babies baked, I chopped up some green onions for garnish.



Mmmm. Hot empanadas. Let's call them rustic, shall we?



Served with sour cream and a scatter of scallions.



And a side of peas. Yum.



Don't let the appearance fool you. The crust was light and flaky, and the filling was delicious.

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You Are What You Eat: A Soapbox Post

Warning & Disclaimer: Don't you love these? Again, no cute kid pictures here. This is a long and ranty kind of post. There is mild yuckiness involved. If you're not interested, move along.

I like living in a bubble. It's nice in here. I don't have to worry about crazies or wackadoos, and I enjoy the false sense of security. Call me egocentric, call me uninformed, that's fine. But it can be ugly out there, and sometimes, it's just too much for my already hyperactive brain to handle.

Every so often, I poke my head out. I learn that Derek Jeter is getting married (sigh). I find out that they are REmaking "Clash of the Titans" (which brings my inhumanly low blood pressure to almost normal - until I realize that Liam Neesom doesn't DO crappy movies, so it might be ok). I catch a particularly disturbing 20/20 that gives me nightmares for weeks. I realize that watching Dateline without a box of tissues is almost worse than watching Steel Magnolias without Kleenex.

And then, just when I'm about to duck back into my happy bubble, I am directed to a series of articles on meat. And my thoughts start humming into overdrive. So I do a little more research and a little more, and I decide, quite unilaterally (sorry, MacGyver), that we need to do something about our meat consumption. NOW.

What they are doing to meat these days is enough to make me gag.

Two articles, in particular, caught my eye.

The first discusses the use of antibiotics in meat produced in US. The AP published this article on 12/29/09, and it really got me thinking. In our family, we only use antibiotics in rare cases. In fact, I can't tell you the last time (knock on wood) that any of us had to take an antibiotic. I knew that overuse of antibiotics can lead to a breakdown of effectivity in one's own body, but how could that apply if we hardly ever take them?

But what about the ones we don't realize we're taking?

Many farmers seem to be using low doses of antibiotics in their efforts to raise healthier, faster-growing meat, but according to the article...

Researchers say the overuse of antibiotics in humans and animals has led to a plague of drug-resistant infections that killed more than 65,000 people in the U.S. last year — more than prostate and breast cancer combined. And in a nation that used about 35 million pounds of antibiotics last year, 70 percent of the drugs went to pigs, chickens and cows. Worldwide, it's 50 percent.

Um. That's a wee bit scary.

The second piece I found is even scarier. On December 31, 2009, the New York Times published this article, on the safety of the beef processing methods. The gist here is that, in an effort to keep the costs of ground beef as low, and as safe from e.coli and salmonella as possible, production plants are using ammonia to chemically treat the "meat" (using air quotes because apparently, it's even cheaper to use slaughter-house trimmings than the actual cow). And this is a measure that seems to be approved by the USDA. Also, the ammonia used in the processing was not marked on any labels, so no one knew what they were getting/buying/eating.

Well, isn't that swell? Are you grossed out yet? Or maybe you already knew all this and are just thrilled to pieces that I am now on board.

Now, I understand media hype. I get propaganda and I get bias in statistics. Are these articles 100% true, or are they slanted? I don't know if there's a way to know for sure. What I DO know is I'm squicked out by all of this.

I don't freak out about too many things. I cling to my Diet Dr. Pepper like (spoiler alert!!!) Kate Winslet clung to that floating door at the end of Titanic, despite the artificial sweeteners and carbonation. I am rather attached to white sugar and pasta. I don't care what Morgan Spurlock has to say about McDonalds french fries - they are the best fast food fries in the business.

Everything in moderation, says I.

But I do try to make healthy changes where I can.

So we are mostly done with Publix meat. Although Publix does carry a nice Greenwise selection, it comes with a hefty price tag and is not as varied. In a pinch, if we need ground meat, we will select a cut of beef (or poultry) at the store and ask the on-site butcher to grind it for us there. Rumor has it that they will accommodate that request, and that will eliminate the whole ammonia thing right there.

For the time being, we're driving the extra distance to Whole Foods (another option is Fresh Market). You can check out their Farm Animal and Meat Quality Standards, but the concept is that they do not sell meat or poultry that has been enhanced with antibiotics or supplemental growth hormones, and they have regulations for housing, feeding and treatment of the animals and meats supplied. Is Whole Foods that much more expensive than Publix? Not hugely.

The long term plan, think 2011, will involve purchasing a chest freezer for the garage and hopefully purchasing directly from a farm. It's an upfront cost, but I think it will be a good investment in the longrun.

Also, I've started started to be more aware of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). While I'm making changes, might as well be thorough. The good news is that since I do a lot of cooking from scratch (or mostly from scratch), the only things I've found with HFCS are ketchup and MacGyver's fig newtons. That's not so bad.

This isn't a stringent change. I'll still eat out, and will order meat if the mood strikes, without worrying too much about its origins. These are modifications I want to create under my roof, in my kitchen.

One more thing, before I leave you.

I joined a website called Stumble Upon. Through their Twitter Feed, I came across this slideshow, entitled 10 Foods to Never, Ever Let Your Children Eat. Very interesting, and definitely a must-veiw for parents.

::Hops off soapbox to get ready for lunch with a friend and her new baby::

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The Great SuperBowl Recap: WHO DAT??

Sometimes, here on And Baby Makes 6, we talk sports.

Do I have something worthwhile to say? Let's put it this way... If the ESPN crew can spend 15 minutes babbling about the fact that the Colts won their other SB from the other locker room, and were wearing different jerseys (because last time they were away and this time they were home), then yes, I think I have something valuable to contribute.

For example. It was a hell of a game.

This household was decidedly for the Saints. On the one hand, MacGyver apparently loathes the Colts with the fire of a thousand suns (I love P. Manning, but what can you do). On the other, we both like an underdog. And you know? A New Orleans win would do amazing things for that city, so that victory would be a good thing.

Last but not least, Drew Brees was my fantasy football QB this year. He led me to a 3rd place finish, so yeah. I've got his back.

Our first order of business was to make the appropriate game-time dessert: Mardi Gras themed chocolate chip cupcakes. Yum. How festive. (PS - The ESPN guys didn't make cupcakes. This is already a better commentary).



Next up? We taught Turtle how to say "Who dat?!" with a high five. High-larious, I tell you. High-larious.

And then it was gametime.

The First Half

The first quarter was a bit rough for the Saints. Down 10-0 at the end of the first 15 minutes, it was looking bleak. After all, give P.Mann an inch and he takes it down the field, over and over again. It's just what he does.

But the Saints weren't to be deterred. Not even when the 2nd quarter yielded only two field goals for the black and gold. On the plus side, the Saints defense was holding the Colts to their 10 points, and P.Mann wasn't blowing up the field, either.

Commercials of Note: I know for a fact that Turtle stopped dead in his tracks at the godaddy.com commercial. The boy likes blonds. Other than that... anyone? Yeah, no.

The Halftime Show

The Who. Ok, it wasn't horrendous. But it wasn't a wow, either. You can think Justin and Janet for that. Turtle shook his booty to Pinball Wizard. And then we ate.

The Second Half

Here's where it gets fun. The Colts were receiving at the start of the second half. And Sean Payton stood proud when the Saints totally knocked Indy on its arse by delivering a successful onside kick. Hello, ingenuity. Which begs the question... Why don't more teams employ this maneuver on a more regular basis? It definitely keeps you guessing. And it shouldn't have to be reserved for a last-minute, do-or-die scenario.

Tony Sparano? Call me, mkay? We'll talk.

The Saints took a touchdown/extra point and field goal for another 10 points and the Colts recovered from their initial surprise by landing another 7 points on the scoreboard. 17-16. Folks, we have a Super Bowl!

With Payton Manning becoming ever more agitated on the sidelines, the Saints controlled the fourth quarter. First, Jeremy Shockey scored a touchdown and the Saints went for the two point conversion. Sean Payton challenged the ruling on the field of incomplete ...

::cue jeopardy music while Turtle ponders::



the review overturned that ruling on the field. Not that it would have mattered.

The next time Manning & Co. came up to the line of scrimmage, and attempted the normally successful combination of Manning to Wayne, Tracy Porter came out of NOWHERE, snatched the ball down and took it all the way to the house. 74 yards!

Hot diggity.

Of course, there were still a few minutes on the clock. Probably enough that Magic Manning could have scored a TD and the Colts could have tried out an onside kick of their own. But magic was on the side of the Saints last night. With :44 seconds, Manning threw one last pass to Reggie Wayne. Who missed.

WHO DAT????!!!!!

The end.

And there was much rejoicing. (5 points if you can name the reference in the comments)



All the props in the world to Sean Payton, Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints. Their first Super Bowl since the start of the franchise. Aggressive, out-of-the-box playcalling. A quarterback who tied the Super Bowl record for completions at his first appearance at the big dance. Wow. You can't get a better story than that.

Congratulations, guys! Well played!

Commercials of Note Part 2: There was something about a little cow and a clydesdale that got an "aw, I want a clydesdale and a beer" out of me. And one where a dog put a shock collar on a guy and zapped him, but I don't know why.

Honestly, they just don't make them like they used to.

Here is my favorite commercial of all time. I believe it came out in 1995. This is the commercial standard to which I hold all other commercials. So far, few have come close.

Enjoy!

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WInners to the Fabulous February Giveaway from And Baby Makes 6 and Morning Star Loft!

Ya'll ready for this???!

After carefully plugging in our information into the Random Number Generator at random.org, we have our two winners!

On the line? Gift certificates for some adorable apparel, like this Baby Gaga onesie! Gah! So cute. (Remember, the onesie is the item of note, not the baby. Who is also stinking adorable).



Without further ado...

Winner 1 - Grand Prize - gift certificate for three items from m*l's etsy shop:

True Random Number Generator

Result: 6

Comment number 6 comes to us from...

T – (February 3, 2010 9:58 AM)

If I had a girl, I'd be all over the Baby Gaga and the pink skull hat.

I do love the brothers drool and little squirt!

Winner 2 - Runner-Up Prize - gift certificate for one item from m*l's etsy shop.

True Random Number Generator

Result: 10

Comment #10?

Lena – (February 3, 2010 6:04 PM)

i love the copper swallow onesie! i want to win one!! you have the email :)

Congratulations, ladies! We'll be getting those gift certificates out to you shortly, so check your email!

And remember, m*l is generously offering $1 shipping for the month of February, so be sure to take advantage of that huge savings!

Happy Monday!

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What Do Pugs Like?

Allow me to set the scene.

It's evening. A movie is on. Three pugs are passed out on the couch, in various stages of repose, snoring away.

I pull the hot air popper out of the pantry.

You know when the great predator is on the loose, and all the birds stop tweeting, and it's just really creepily quiet?

Imagine that.

I pull out the bottle of popcorn kernels.

And suddenly, I am under attack. Three snorting, snuffling, wide-eyed pugs swarm me, like sharks circling chum. There is no escaping. They sit, literally ON my feet, not budging, their heads tilted in the signature pug cock, intent on the prize: popcorn.

Honestly, if I gave them a choice of a beautiful steak or popcorn, they would probably select popcorn.

They're just that weird.

Focus, focus, focus.



Must.... concentrate.



Look at her.



She'll take your hand off if you're not careful. Chomp!



Ah, the motherload. Nom nom nom.



Crazy pugs.

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